the universe and I have a personal inside joke and it truly enlightens me when I’m reminded of it.
this time, the reminder was earlier documented on a silly essay I posted august 10.
I saw a kaleidoscope of flashbacks contrasting present time. summer vs. autumn.
the summer was all of attraction, longing, possibility, and disappointment. ordinary feelings became extraordinary.
in the summer, the color was about him.
the autumn is watercolored in me.
remembering the longer bright days. bikini wearing days. my yellow blanket in the sun. what it meant to feel so much for someone after they left.
maybe i’ve been attributing some of my own qualities to the people who bring them out of me.
“you’re full of color” is such an interesting way to describe a person.
5 months ago I realized I was capable of seeing in color again.
in November I realized that I’m becoming the color.
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